To be grateful.

Years...years of give and take. Or so I assumed, and so I will still believe to see it that way. But here we are today, in a new day and age where I've become the performer I am and continue to crave a live audience. Whether I believe I'm good at something or not, or whether a critic believes I perform well, or mediocre, I will attest that the passion, love, effort, time and sacrifice I have given is quite the toll. Nowhere in there, and not once have I thought it was a waste or an effort at charity. I enjoy and thrive off what I do, and the response of a crowd filled with many different types of critics, whether the feed back be positive or negative. Through the good and bad, the thick and thin, I've remained loyal, grateful and humble. This was all not for nothing, it was been a pleasure and a gift to me. I cry when thinking of all the memories. I've gained so much experience, stage presence, family, friends, talent and confidence. I will never regret. But in the moment of a day like today, it's hard not let it feel like smack in the face. Pushing myself since I was 9, my mind craves the world's spotlight. On multiple levels of reason. Never again will I put aside another passion of mine to help and benefit another. I will choose my focus wisely, in thought of benefiting myself and the community. It's a shame to feel so put away. To be looked passed. And still I learn. And I still thank you. I still love you. I still appreciate you.