Love Out Loud

And there's nothing we can do
Because life never stops for you
We've gotta love out loud while we can
Sooner or later we loose everything we have

Even the tiniest things stand out to me.

Just made Top Ramen, just the way my brother used to make it. How do I remember these things? It wasn't on purpose, but just so happen, I remembered he made it this exact way, a different way than most would. 9 and a half years later, I either find myself picking up where he left off or a lot of little things bring his presence back.

I'm just a year older than he was when he was murdered. Can't help but think, what would he be doing if he were still here?

And why? You know? Something that nobody will ever understand...why these things happen. And we're forced to move on.

To be grateful.

Years...years of give and take. Or so I assumed, and so I will still believe to see it that way. But here we are today, in a new day and age where I've become the performer I am and continue to crave a live audience. Whether I believe I'm good at something or not, or whether a critic believes I perform well, or mediocre, I will attest that the passion, love, effort, time and sacrifice I have given is quite the toll. Nowhere in there, and not once have I thought it was a waste or an effort at charity. I enjoy and thrive off what I do, and the response of a crowd filled with many different types of critics, whether the feed back be positive or negative. Through the good and bad, the thick and thin, I've remained loyal, grateful and humble. This was all not for nothing, it was been a pleasure and a gift to me. I cry when thinking of all the memories. I've gained so much experience, stage presence, family, friends, talent and confidence. I will never regret. But in the moment of a day like today, it's hard not let it feel like smack in the face. Pushing myself since I was 9, my mind craves the world's spotlight. On multiple levels of reason. Never again will I put aside another passion of mine to help and benefit another. I will choose my focus wisely, in thought of benefiting myself and the community. It's a shame to feel so put away. To be looked passed. And still I learn. And I still thank you. I still love you. I still appreciate you.

Eminem said it best...

There's nothin more rewarding than to hear and see someone judge you. Truly. As horrible the action may be, we all do it, and always will. But my favorite is when somebody assumes they know exactly what's going on and they know exactly who "you" are. I've heard great compliments in my life in which I will never forget, nor live down, nor take for granted, but I've also heard the worse possible judgments, critiques and put downs ever. All of the above being true or false, I take it all in, and enjoy it for what it is. But my favorite thing is when somebody has me "alllll figured out", some people just know me more than I know myself. =)

"I am whatever you say I am.
If I wasn't, why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news, everyday I am.
I don't know, it's just the way I am."

-Eminem

Camp Rock

Dear cast of Camp Rock:

We did it. We truly truly did it. 2 months and 8 days ago we all auditioned for what we now know as one the greatest experiences of our lives. We ALL beat out the remaining 450 or so other people who auditioned for this musical. That audition had to have lasted 6 hours or more. And it was 2 months and 1 day ago that we all met as "cast" for the first time ever. The little theatre was packed. The amount of talent that filled the room is incomparable with any other cast I've been a part of. From dancers, to singers, to actors and even break dancers. I can still remember that day, I was so excited to be a part of such a new cast of people. I've met so many amazing people, and now great friends. I still can't believe how well each and every character fit their parts for the show. The ensemble....I give it UP to you. I dance ONE number, and the rest of the show, I'm playing guitar and singing. You ALL rock out for the entire show. If you've been in my dressing room, you've prob heard me and Nick (Jason) talk about how much we give props to you guys. We can't imagine remembering every dance move and keeping the energy throughout the entire run of the show. Congratulations on being the most charismatic and energetic cast I've ever worked with.

Rehearsals, were CRAZY. We really had to rehearse in a cafeteria for like, 3-4 weeks?? What??? And we DID IT. We all showed up in horrible summer heat, and we rehearsed. Dedication from every one of you. And as hard as it was, we took our show to the stage with about 6 rehearsal days left. And we took what we knew from blue tape on a cafeteria floor and brought it to life on the great stage of Gardiner W. Spring. We had cast members driving to rehearsal from all over the place. Janis driving from Long Beach, Cristina and Nick Walker from Anaheim Hills, and Nick Sloan and his mom all the way from San Diego. This show was not possible with out this entire cast. We started with about 96?, and ended up with about 85 I believe. And here we all are now, closing night is here. We have every single memory to look back on and laugh, enjoy and love. We have video footage and digital pictures to capature very few and the many amazing moments had in this cast.

"Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaangggg, we're gonna be on TELEVISION???" -Sander (Bon Bon)
You guys...we're gonna be on the Disney Channel. How cool is that?? Our cast, ONLY our cast of Camp Rock had the privilege of having Meaghan Martin from Camp Rock come to OUR theatre and spend her entire day with us. Not only was she the sweetest person, but she loved our performance, she even said that she can't do what we do. And that our cast is better than hers?? Wow. Now that says something. The entire Disney group that were there Friday night, freaked out over our performance. This is all because of you. We all made this possible. And on September 3rd, we'll all be watching the Disney Channel loving our lives. And no one can take that moment away from us.

From day one...I can't lie...I will say that it was a bit embarrassing to tell everyone that Jon and I were auditioning to be Jonas Brothers for the stage version of Camp Rock. Though I wanted to be a part of it all, it was still a bit awkward to tell some friends and family members. When Masterson got the rights to do the show, it was about 3am when Jon, Jacob Steele and I decided to go to a 24 hour walmart to buy Camp Rock 1. We ONLY bought the DVD of Camp Rock. The three of us grown men walked to the cashier, put down the dvd and said, "It's not what it looks like." Except, if she really knew why we were buying it...it probably would have sounded even MORE ridiculous. Haha. So we bought it, went home and watched the entire thing. My point is, today....there is no part of me that is embarrassed to say that I'm part of a Disney "Jonas Brothers" musical. It's insane how great our production is. Every part of each one of us should be extremely proud. We paid our dues and we proved that what we did this entire summer, was totally worth it.

It's closing night! Let's put it all out there for that audience to see tonight that we love what we do. And as sad as this day may be, let's remember that we'll all be back in November rehearsing to do it all over again =))

I love you guys.

I really mean it.

Have the greatest closing night one can have tonight. <3


"The friends we made, the fun we had, remembering's gonna make me laugh. It's a beautiful thing." -Shane Gray


"This is our song, that's all that matters cause we all belong right here together. There's nothing better than singing along. This is our summer, this is our song." -Cast of Camp Rock

.

Having the time of my life.

We are officially more than half way done with Camp Rock shows. Total of 9 shows, and tonight we have completed show number 5. I can't express how much fun I'm having with such an amazing cast. At 9pm, August 16th, it's going to be a sad moment. It will all be over, and who knows when we'll all see each other again, if ever. It's the truth about musicals, just like our director says, "You will NEVER be on a stage again with this exact cast." I've met some of the greatest of people here in Camp Rock and have seen friendships grow and break. Without camp rock I wouldn't have grown to be such a good friend of Leanna (Mitchie Torres), Bon Bon (Sander), and new friends Nick (Barron) and Cristina (Tess). There's SO MANY ensemble members that I have enjoyed spending my everyday of summer with. You all mean so much to me and I will NEVER forget this experience with you all.

After 7 years, I've got to act along side my best friend Jon. So much with him, I love that we got to share the lead roles of "Connect 3" together.

And though this Monday coming up will be a sad moment in a lot of our lives, to see such a huge project be put away, I'm very excited to continue working with the LOVES of my life: Fiasco!, 12 Days In Paris, my musical 22, writing more music with David Lei, and looking forward to a progressive future.

Thanks to everyone who has made this show extra special. You know who you all are and I wouldn't want it to be any other way. I hope to work with many of you in the near future with any project that comes our way.

Tomorrow call time is Noon, and we won't leave our theatre til 9pm at night. Gotta love it. Can't wait.

Til next time...I'm having the time of my life.

"Wake up in the morning feeling like JOE JONAS." -VFC

It's here....it's crazy to think the day is actually here. Camp Rock opening night is tonight...(tomorrow). I've NEBVER been in a more talented cast then this one. Truly. This is THE most fun I've ever had in a show, and this is the MOST talent I've ever seen in my run of musical theatre. I've never been more proud to be in a musical before. Such a great cast. And we're ready for this. We've been rehearsing so much, and now it's time to show everybody what we've been up to. Tomorrow/today...I will wake up feeling like Joe Jonas. I've been waiting for this day for the past 3 months. I'm gonna miss it when it's gone....but for now, while it's here, I'm gonna give it all I've got.

"This is our song, that's all that matters cause, we all belong, right here together. There's nothin better,than singing along, this is our summer, this is our song." -Camp Rock

Leanna (Mitchie), here it is. Can you believe it? Let's go big or go home. <3